TIME TRAVEL OINTMENT

"Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention." 

So sang Frank Sinatra in his smug hit, "My Way."

If, on the other hand, like me, and unlike Frank, you've had too MANY regrets to mention, I think I have the product for you. I've been working on it in my basement when not working on my perpetual motion machine (which is coming right along, by the way). 

It's a time travel ointment. Just apply a dab on your temples and you're able to transport yourself back to right before you started making those goofy decisions and choices that screwed up your life.

Wouldn't it be worth a thousand bucks to be able to do that? 

And it will pay for itself if you remember to take a sports encyclopedia back in time with you.

I accept Paypal.