Wednesday, September 2, 2009

CHAD THE MYSTERY ANIMAL


     Chad the mystery animal didn't mind being ridden. He just didn't like being ridden hard and put away wet.

     That's why he had a sense of trepidation when he first saw Ursula walk into the mystery stable. She looked like a woman who enjoyed a long, hard ride. Perhaps it was the studded riding crop she carried or the leopard-skin jodhpurs she wore or the crazed look in her eyes. Whatever it was, he prayed she would choose one of the other mystery animals to ride that day.

     No such luck. Ursula picked Chad over Betty the mystery animal, Barth the mystery animal, Lucinda the mystery animal and even Dwight, the most mysterious of all the mystery animals.

     Jasper the unstable stable boy saddled up Chad and Ursula mounted him from behind in a running jump. Chad had only seen that done in old Hopalong Cassidy movies. He was startled, but impressed.

     With considerable hauteur, she rode him at full gallop out past the north forty and back again. She rode him hard and didn't spare the whip. Or the spurs. And she whispered inappropriate things in his ear which left him confused.

     Chad was exhausted when they arrived back at the mystery stable, but in a good way, somehow.

     Ursula told Jasper she would be back the next morning and to have Chad ready to ride. Hard. Being unstable, Jasper put Chad away sweaty.

     Yet Chad didn't mind. He was in new, unfamiliar territory. He thought he knew himself, but now he wondered if he ever really did. All he knew was that he would dream of Ursula that night.

     Unfortunately, he awoke the next morning with a bad case of pneumonia and was too sick to go riding. By the time he recovered Ursula had formed a tempestuous, borderline-sick relationship with Dwight the mystery animal.

     Intellectually, Chad realized it was probably for the best. But thoughts of what might have been eventually drove him to madness.

     It was a short drive.

8 comments:

teresa.frog.applause said...

I love your story. Was this drawing cropped from a previous sketch-journal post? I'm sure I've seen these weirdos before in a larger Hollywood-squares format**.

**it's welcome, of course, since they're cool to look at!!

It's also fun to note that the unstable stable boy has your REAL first name: Jasper... as in J(asper) C(asper) Duffy.

JCD said...

Chad says thanks.

No, these weirdos were not part of a previous post. A lot of my weirdos look alike.

Jasper Casper? Hah. Close, but no cigar.

Lawyer Dave said...

Your reference to jodhpurs brought to mind an early Fusco Brothers cartoon where somebody (Al, I think) wears jodhpurs in homage to Lamar of the Jungle.

You are very talented at making comedy from jodhpurs.

JCD said...

Everybody's good at something. I excell at jodhpur yucks.

Actually, it was RAMAR of the Jungle. Unless it was about Hedy Lamarr, which might have been funnier.

Unknown said...

JCD! I love your drawings, but I am really LOVING your prose! Have you published any writing aside from your blog - fiction, non-fiction, whatev - I could get my hands on?

JCD said...

Dorian,

Thanks!

Under DUFFY LINKS you can click on FICTION, which will take you to a couple of pieces I have on Narrative Magazine. They'll be running another one sometime this autumn.

I'm trying to get things published elsewhere, but so far that's about it. I'll post links if and when things appear.

Unknown said...

Awesome! Thanks JC!! Hope you have an excellent long weekend planned. :)

JCD said...

Dorian,

One can hope!

Thanks again.