GIZELLE, YOLANDA AND CEDRIC

     Gizelle was looking for money.

     Her sister Yolanda was looking for love.

     One night they went looking in a singles bar, and in walked Cedric.

     Cedric had it all. He was wealthy, handsome and kind to animals. Even disgusting ones, like rats. He was a saint. And loaded. And hung like Mr. Ed. He had technicolor hair, a razor-sharp Adam's apple and he drove a DeLorean. When the DeLorean was in the shop, which was often, he rode a white steed.

     He sat at a small table in the corner and ordered a daiquiri. Not shaken, not stirred, just politely jostled.

     The sisters Indian-wrestled to see who would get to throw herself at him. The huskier Yolanda won the contest easily, but, ironically, threw Gizelle right into Cedric's lap.

     Yolanda watched in horror as Gizelle remained on Cedric's lap and the two seemed to hit it off immediately. They reminded her of a ventriloquist act, and she hated ventriloquism with a passion, almost as much as she hated plates twirled on sticks.

     Yolanda's other passion was darts. She walked over to the dart board and surreptitiously grabbed one. She stood in a corner and waited for just the right opportunity. When no one was watching she threw the dart and it landed on one of her sister's gigantic silicone breasts, releasing a torrent of silicone into Cedric's daiquiri. Embarrassed, he excused himself, went into the men's room and never came out.

     Blood is not thicker than silicone, but the two sisters got over the incident immediately nonetheless. There were many such incidents in their past, and there would be many such incidents in their future. There would be other Cedrics to fight over and other implants to puncture. They ordered a pitcher of Cosmopolitans and had a good laugh over the whole thing.

     Cedric made a new friend in the men's room, so this has turned into a happy story all around.