Thursday, October 1, 2009

ASK MR. GREGARIOUS

DEAR GREG: 

I'm a stay-at-home dad without any children. I don't get out much, unless you count never. I have agoraphobia. I have my food sent in and my laundry sent out. I'd like to turn things around. What do you suggest? 

SHUT-IN


DEAR SHUT-IN: 

Grab for all the gusto you can! Meet life head on! Don't look back!


DEAR GREG: 

I'm terminally bashful. I can't even face myself in the mirror when I put on makeup. Consequently, I look like a clown. Please advise. 

SHYBOOTS THE CLOWN


DEAR SHYBOOTS: 

Strike up a conversation with somebody on the bus! Throw caution to the wind! Let a smile be your umbrella! 


DEAR GREG: 

I'm a former politician and a convicted felon under house arrest. My ankle bracelet pretty much keeps me at home, so I don't see a lot of people other than my parole officer. How can I retain my schmoozing skills? 

ILLINOIS BOY


DEAR BOY: 

Grab life by the collar! Wake up and smell the flowers! Join a lodge!


DEAR GREG: 

I'm a misanthrope and I hate everybody, so I don't socialize much. But I like it this way.  And by the way, screw you! 

BITTER LADY 


DEAR BL: 

Take charge! Get out and meet people! Join Facebook! 


DEAR GREG: 

I'm a tortured soul and I have the documentation to prove it. I'm under a suicide watch at the moment, which is why I'm writing this with a crayon. Is there hope for me? 

HOWLING IN WARD 9


DEAR HOWLING: 

Put on a happy face! Get a lobotomy! Start a blog!

7 comments:

teresa.frog.applause said...

I want to write a letter to Mr. Gregarious. Do you think he'll answer it?

JCD said...

Who knows? He's inscrutable.

Cellar Door said...

Dear Mr. Gregarious,

I want to meet you in person. I think you are the bomb. I want to be just like you: tell other people to GO FOR IT!

I love you. Can I have several of your babies?

P.s. I'm a man.

Piraro said...

Dear J. C.,
Just wanted to warn you not to fall for Cellar Door's pickup line! I did not long ago and it was a big mistake. She's NOT a man!
Dan

JCD said...

Dan,

Good to know!

MQM said...

botantio were the characters I typed, just to be able to tell you that you cracked me up with Mr. Gregarious.
Thank you for letting me tell you that.

JCD said...

Thank you, Botantio!