WAKE UP, SMELL FLOWERS
DO LAUNDRY
DO UNTO OTHERS
DO WATUSI
TWIST AGAIN, LIKE LAST SUMMER
MAKE BED
MAKE HAY WHILE SUN SHINES
MAKE ENDS MEET
MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY
MAKE SOMEONE UNHAPPY
MAKE HEADS OR TAILS OUT OF SOMETHING
TAKE OUT TRASH
TAKE OUT JESSICA BIEL
TAKE OUT (KILL) DOG
TAKE IN (SWINDLE) CAT
TAKE LAST TRAIN TO CLARKSVILLE
THROW CAUTION TO WIND
LAY DOWN LAW
COME INTO MONEY
BALANCE CHECKBOOK
BALANCE 12 TWIRLING PLATES ON STICKS SIMULTANEOUSLY
RESURRECT ED SULLIVAN
CLEAR DESK
CLEAR CALENDAR
CLEAR MIND
TAKE HORSE TO WATER, ATTEMPT (AGAIN) TO MAKE HIM DRINK
STRAIGHTEN UP
STRAIGHTEN OUT, FLY RIGHT
APOLOGIZE TO PEOPLE FROM LAST NIGHT
APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE TO PEOPLE FROM TOMORROW NIGHT
SHOP
DROP
PAINT BASEBOARDS
PAINT TOWN
OPEN CAN OF WORMS
HANDLE THAT AWKWARD SITUATION
HANDLE THAT OTHER AWKWARD SITUATION
PAY PHONE BILL
PAY HOMAGE TO FALSE GOD
BRIBE DISTRICT ATTORNEY
PRACTICE OBOE
JUMP ON BANDWAGON
KEEP EYE ON PRIZE
KNOCK ON WOOD
NAP
BEAT DEAD HORSE, FIGURATIVELY
BEAT DEAD HORSE, LITERALLY
PRACTICE MEDICINE WITHOUT LICENCE
PLAY LOTTERY, HIT JACKPOT
PLAY WILLY LOMAN IN "DEATH OF A SALESMAN"
MAKE LIGHT OF SERIOUS MATTER
MAKE MOUNTAIN OUT OF MOLEHILL
MAKE OUT WITH JESSICA BIEL
MAKE LIST OF POSSIBLE SPREES
GO ON SPREE
GO OFF ON TANGENT
SAY "WHAT ARE YOU, FIVE YEARS OLD?" TO SOMEBODY
PUT BEST FOOT FORWARD
PUT ON BRAVE FACE
KEEP CHIN UP
KEEP UP APPEARANCES
KEEP NOISE DOWN
LET FRIENDS DOWN
LET HAIR DOWN
LET SOMEONE OFF EASY
LET SOMEONE OFF HARD
LET THEM EAT CAKE
HEY, GOOD IDEA: EAT CAKE
WRITE FAN LETTER TO ERNEST BORGNINE
TEACH OLD DOG NEW TRICKS, IF POSSIBLE
TEETER ON BRINK OF INSANITY
WAIT FOR OTHER SHOE TO DROP
HAPPY HOUR
COIN CATCH PHRASE
INVENT PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE
GO TO PATENT OFFICE
BUY HAT
TAKE HAT OFF TO WOMAN
TICKLE IVORIES
RUN OFF AT MOUTH
RUN OFF WITH JESSICA BIEL
TAKE JACKET TO CLEANER'S
TAKE PALETTE TO CLEANSER'S
TAKE PETARD TO HOISTER'S
TAKE ASS TO REAMER'S
CHECK ON ELDERLY NEIGHBOR
CHECK OFF ELDERLY NEIGHBOR
RAISE PERSONAL BAR
CLOSE NEIGHBORHOOD BAR
BURN MIDNIGHT OIL
SPANK MONKEY
APOLOGIZE TO MONKEY
REPEAT
8 comments:
Wonderful stuff, Mr Duffy, and if I had a hat I'd take it off to you.
Piraro sent me here. This was hilarious. I don't think I could do that list in my lifetime. Woe is me. Especially the Jessica Biel stuff... I wouldn't turn gay for her. If only you had better taste in good looking women. LOL.
Damn, that's an ambitious list, bro.
Thank you - it made me all mirth-tastic and I go out now to face my own much smaller list.
Dude the armpit hair is getting to me. XD
I love this list like a penguin loves a narcoleptic lion. My favorite was "take petard to hoisters." I was sorry, however, that you didn't include "step off curb."
Peaches,
I would have gladly replaced Jessica Biel with Ingrid Bergman, but she's dead.
Dan,
The lion sleeps tonight.
Is it too late to add "get dander up"?
Sadly, the dander deadline has passed.
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