WORDLE STORY

No amount of prose can convey the power of the spaceship that took me on board that night. I was driving down the road listening to an oldies station on the radio at three o'clock in the morning. The song was "Muskrat Love." I had the top down and the ship just sucked me up into itself. The next thing I knew I was prone on a stainless steel table, being given an anal probe by a group of aliens. After the procedure they put me back in my car and I went home. I cannot prove my story, but to this day, whenever I hear the Captain and Tennille I get a stiff pain in my ass. I say this supports my claim. Others say this merely supports the claim that the Captain and Tennille suck.

 

WORDLE STORIES

The table cloth was linen in the romantic bistro where we dined. I could smell his piney aftershave as his tunic opened to reveal the sinews of his muscles and the tattoo on his chest which read, "Amore." Clearly, the maitre d' had seated me at the wrong table.

WORDLE STORIES

Never bathe in Clorox, my friend. If I may opine, it's your own fault that your skin has a matte finish. 

 

WORDLE STORIES

I was planning to paint my house, but I couldn't decide among azure, mauve, and taupe. The man at the paint store found it difficult to gauge my exact level of insanity.

WORDLE STORIES

I love to opine while sitting beneath a balmy larch tree. Today's opinion: that awkward situation last night was not my fault.

WORDLE STORIES

I drive a wheat wagon. I move the wheat from point A to point B. If you've ever gotten your wheat at point B, you can thank me for not having to go to point A.

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