Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO BLOGGYNESS
My syndicate recently flagged the Fusco Brothers strip below because of the word "wiseass."
So I changed it to "wise guy." Not as funny, but I do what I have to do sometimes.
Newspapers have not kept up with TV when it comes to this sort of thing (filth). Lance Fusco could never say some of the things Bart Simpson gets away with saying.
By the way, this is tomorrow's strip, so once again, you can bet some sucker in your favorite neighborhood bar that you can predict tomorrow's G-rated Fusco punchline (such as it is).
Make sure you bet with a regular customer you dislike. That way, you'll either win some money, or if he welches on the bet by never showing up again, you'll be free of a pest.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
WHAT IS IT?
What is it? In the movies, it can be any number of things. Here are some actual movie quotes to prove it:
It's... I don't know.
I don't know. I found it in one of the labs.
I don't know. But it hurts.
How am I supposed to know what this is!
Good, you're curious, I like that!
Can't you see what it is?
You'll see.
You will see. Oh yes, you will see.
Hey, my Dad's seen one of those.
It's you!
Your body!
It's a minivan.
It's a rabbit's foot.
It's a member of the herring family.
Rain.
The stuff that dreams are made of.
Your mouthwash ain't making it.
Pest and rodent removal.
The goombahs are dancing again.
Your toenails. They're like daggers!
Early retirement.
Viscount Lansky's horse has returned from the Great Forest... riderless.
The sound of treachery.
Its a bundt.
Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things.
It's corned beef and cabbage.
You're smiling, Sir.
Love, Harry. Love.
Just get in the car, Bob.
Limestone pie and hot melted silver.
Spock's burial robe.
This dead chick is stacked.
I told you it's Dad's business!
Beware!
I have to go to the can again!
It's a birdcage!
Well, a Chinese Crested of course!
Its a leg.
An entertainment.
We keep smiling, even when we're out of Bloody Mary mix.
New Jersey.
It's a crystal, nothing more, but if you turn it this way, look into it, it'll show you your dreams.
It's a pie machine.
Dandruff!
Mom, I had this terrible dream that Dad was tied to a log and was careening out of control down a raging river of death!
A man's been killed upstairs.
An Oldsmobile Silhouette.
It's just the whole laundry thing. Its a metaphor, right?
Well I'm, uh, learning the piano.
It's some sort of cloak.
It's a gun rack.
It's a nitro-glycerin base.
It's a penis stretcher.
I ripped my stockings.
Either the mouthpiece of a trumpet or the end of the world.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
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