MORE PIGS

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

SOLITAIRE FOR TWO

AWARD HUMOR

BLAME IT ON THE BOSSA NOVA

PROPHYL ANTICS

TOUGH ALL OVER

Perhaps Jed is sad because it is an overcast day. Perhaps Jed is discouraged because his farming career is in the toilet and he cannot afford to buy a shirt. Perhaps Jed is unhappy because his land is black and not a rich, fertile brown. Perhaps Jed is depressed because his overalls are green and not blue like the overalls of of all the other farmers in the valley, and he fears he will not be accepted into the Grange. Or perhaps Jed's red fence reminds him of Satan, and he is frightened.

Perhaps we shall never know.

GEOGRAPHICAL FILTH

CHEAP OFFICE THRILLS

SON OF BLAG BLOG

If you can keep your hair when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can groom yourself when colleagues impeach you,

And hold your head high with a puffy hairdo;

If you can deny all charges of soliciting bribes,

And apply more mousse and ignore the bad vibes;

If you can laugh as others try to screw ya,

And tell them "A lttle dab'll do ya;"

If that squirrel on your head invites ridicule,

Yet you stand up tall because you know you look cool;

If you can show a brave face to corruption charges,

And throw back your shoulders as your hairdo enlarges;

If everyone hates you the rest of your life,

Except Ronald Burris, and maybe your wife;

If your hairspray deflects all the wrath of Chicago,

And you staunchly remain the unrepentant Blago;

If you can comb your locks when the pain is crippling,

And add some class by quoting Kipling;

If you can coiff amid charges of pay-to-play,

And use Grecian Formula to cover the gray;

If you can defend a bad haircut that others eschew,

And not hit the bottle - except for shampoo;

If you can style your tresses like a teenage boy,

You'll be the most popular inmate in Illinois!