SUICIDE LEVITY

WHY THE LONG EXPLANATION?

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

A classic joke. Why did I feel the need to mess with it?

THE AFTERLIFE REVEALED

POSSESSIONS

INTERRACIAL, AGRICULTURAL, DOO-WOP HUMOR

BAD HAIR DAY

MISSING IN ACTION

The cartoon that was originally posted here has been sold elsewhere.

It was borderline hilarious!

GIRAFFE PROBLEM

THE ART PROCESS

Here's my thinking: 

First, I take "my kingdom for a horse" and transform it into "my horse for a kingdom." (I call this The Old Switcheroo!) 

Then I throw in a sad, sniveling horse. 

Next, for good measure, I add zippy color in Photoshop. 

What have I got on my hands? 

Comedic gold! 

And in Blogland, of course, that translates into HUGE BUCKS!!!

THE CARMEN-O'SULLIVAN BRIDGE

Red dots indicate where people have leaped to their deaths after listening to "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen. Green dots indicate where people have done so after listening to "Alone Again (Naturally)" by Gilbert O'Sullivan.

15 CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIENDS OF MINE

PURE FILTH

How do we know the cartoon at the top of the page is pure filth?

Just look at the reactions of the people at the bottom of the page. Their shock is clearly genuine. You can't fake that kind of thing, especially around the eyes.

NINE POOR DEVILS TRAPPED IN A JOURNAL

HOLIDAY HUMOR

CATS AND NAZIS

WHEN MICE MURDER

LACKLUSTER CAT CARTOON

DATE NIGHT CARTOON

MOLLUSK HUMOR

STRANGE ENCOUNTER

CREEPY BIRTHDAY HUMOR

PLAYING HARD TO GET

MONDAY MELODRAMA

THE BOVINE INVASION

USING CATTLE TO WEAN MYSELF OFF PIGS

ENOUGH WITH THE PIGS ALREADY

MY PIG JAG CONTINUES

SO MANY PIGS, SO LITTLE TIME

AGAIN WITH THE PIGS

STILL MORE PIGS

MORE PIGS

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

SOLITAIRE FOR TWO

AWARD HUMOR

BLAME IT ON THE BOSSA NOVA

PROPHYL ANTICS

TOUGH ALL OVER

Perhaps Jed is sad because it is an overcast day. Perhaps Jed is discouraged because his farming career is in the toilet and he cannot afford to buy a shirt. Perhaps Jed is unhappy because his land is black and not a rich, fertile brown. Perhaps Jed is depressed because his overalls are green and not blue like the overalls of of all the other farmers in the valley, and he fears he will not be accepted into the Grange. Or perhaps Jed's red fence reminds him of Satan, and he is frightened.

Perhaps we shall never know.

GEOGRAPHICAL FILTH

CHEAP OFFICE THRILLS

SON OF BLAG BLOG

If you can keep your hair when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can groom yourself when colleagues impeach you,

And hold your head high with a puffy hairdo;

If you can deny all charges of soliciting bribes,

And apply more mousse and ignore the bad vibes;

If you can laugh as others try to screw ya,

And tell them "A lttle dab'll do ya;"

If that squirrel on your head invites ridicule,

Yet you stand up tall because you know you look cool;

If you can show a brave face to corruption charges,

And throw back your shoulders as your hairdo enlarges;

If everyone hates you the rest of your life,

Except Ronald Burris, and maybe your wife;

If your hairspray deflects all the wrath of Chicago,

And you staunchly remain the unrepentant Blago;

If you can comb your locks when the pain is crippling,

And add some class by quoting Kipling;

If you can coiff amid charges of pay-to-play,

And use Grecian Formula to cover the gray;

If you can defend a bad haircut that others eschew,

And not hit the bottle - except for shampoo;

If you can style your tresses like a teenage boy,

You'll be the most popular inmate in Illinois!