Friday, May 28, 2010

THE RETURN OF BENNY!


HI! IT'S ME, BENNY, THE BREAKOUT STAR FROM YESTERDAY'S BLOG POST!


HERE ARE SOME OF MY EXCELLENT IDEAS!


EAT!

DRINK FROM A TOILET!

SLEEP!

BARK!

BITE!

CHASE A CAR!

HUMP A LEG!

URINATE!

DEFECATE!

FORNICATE!


THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!

Monday, May 17, 2010

BEN CASEY

A million years ago, Dr. Zorba would kick off the TV series Ben Casey by drawing these symbols (minus the last one) on a blackboard, saying their names in a thick accent.



Now, somewhere, Sam Jaffe and Vince Edwards are spinning in their graves.


Saturday, May 8, 2010

BEER LEAGUE POLO


No one could remember whose idea it was to switch from softball to polo, but beer was involved in the decision.

Monday, May 3, 2010

BUCK OWENS

I saw this Buck Owens coloring book on Frog Blog [see blog list at right]. Though I'm not a kid, I felt compelled to follow the fascist order to "COLOR HIM, KIDS!" for some stupid reason.



I had no Crayola crayons, but I did have Photoshop, so I proceeded on my assignment, and spent WAY too much time on it. Real work got ignored, meals were skipped, bills went unpaid and by the end of it I had developed a deep, abiding resentment of Mr. Buck Owens.



When it was over, I had wasted a period of my life that I'll never get back. But at least Buck Owens was on fire.